6 December 2006
All my life I have had some special relationship with Death. I remember having had some sort of fascination with it when I was young, wanting to know about spiritism, near-death experiences, etc. Quite recently, I realised that this relationship had changed considerably. It was during an intervision session I had with my fellow counselers, dealing with certain issues I had experienced due to a client's problems and my own reaction with his fate. After some good questions from my fellow counselers, I realised what was at the core of my issues with Death. It was not anymore related to the former fascination, not anymore related to my sister's death 18 years ago (which was the start of a second phase in my relationship with Death). It turned out that the fascination with Death had turned into an indignance with it. The core of my issue with Death is, that it does not allow you to finish life. That may sound strange, by the way, as the whole definition of Death is that it does finish life. What I meant, though, was that I was not ready to die yet, because there was still so much that I wanted to do in life, so much to complete, so much to achieve, so much to discover and enjoy. In fact, this may well be related to my sister's death after all, as she died at age 25 and was not ready living either.
So now I realise what my relationship to Death is, it has become sweeter. I can now relax with the feelings that I have towards it, as I understand what it is that triggers me when people that are close to me are dying. It's being cut off from opportunities that life brings, cut off from opportunities to develop, cut off from opportunities to fulfill one's mission.
At the same time, I know that my understanding of Death is not complete yet. Before I came to the conclusion above, I said that I could tell all kinds of transpersonal stories about Death that should appease my feelings towards it, but that it just didn't feel like that. “Feeling” means that something goes deeper, so that's how I got to the discovery mentioned above. But it leaves open the question what Death itself really is. I believe that the only level that can give a reasonable answer to this question is the non-dual one. No Formal, Post-formal, Integral or Holistic level of development can adequately explain Death. For the only way to neutralise Death and explain it such that it does not hurt so much anymore is to recognise that Death is not so much different from life. For, if in essence we are a field of consciousness in which all phenomena arise, after this physical life we should re-join that same field of consciousness, only in a different form (or rather: without form). Consciousness as a whole remains the same, for it is the universal field that everyone is part of. Then life and death only differ as much as that life is consciousness in the form of a living being and death is formless consciousness. That's where all difference is. Consciousness creating form out of pure Love for it, using its creativity paired with Love to have life forms spring from it and return to it, only to start the whole game over and over again. The dying is not the end of life, it is the start of a new life driven by the same mission, which is Love.
Though lovers be lost, Love shall not. And Death shall have no dominion. (Dylan Thomas)