Dolf's Blog
Integral thoughts about development, humanity, spirituality
One day of Ramadan
10 October 2007
A muslim colleague has invited me and other non-muslim people to participate one day his Ramadan in fasting. As I have been thinking for years to participate in Ramadan some time, I gladly accepted this invitation. It is an effort far from what is required when as a muslim you need to do this for a whole month, but for me interesting nevertheless to observe myself fasting a whole day and seeing what it does to me, my internal state, my body, emotions, mind and spirit. A friend of mine told me that for him, Ramadan was a spiritual experience. Let's see if one day of Ramadan will give me a touch of that as well. I will be keeping this journal-blog during the day, so stay tuned if you catch it early...It's 6 AM now and I woke up half an hour ago to have breakfast - fasting starts at around 6, so I decided to first eat and then do the rest of the wake up process (taking shower, prepare for going to work, etc.). This is the first part that I was not looking forward to: getting up so early to make breakfast. I hate getting up early (normal wake-up time for me is 6:45, though), so I expect that that may be a prime reason if I am going to feel bad today... So at 6 I realised I was not going to eat or drink until 7 PM tonight, which is weird, once I was at that point. Many "what-if"s crossed my mind - dehydration in the office, fainting of hunger, shouting at my colleagues due to a bad mood... Let's see what happens...
9:11 now - made it to the office way early as I was awake anyway and therefore had the opportunity to beat traffic. With the benefit of having some extended time where you can work without being disturbed frequently... Anyway, the first day of Ramadan still feels good, despite dry air in the office that makes me thirsty! I have been thinking about rules versus intention: for outsiders it seems that Ramadan is about not eating, drinking, having sex or lying between sunrise and sunset (in fact, plus quite some extended time around that). This leads to discussions about whether you are still allowed to brush your teeth or not, should flog yourself when thinking about sex, or anything like that. For me, that's quite irrelevant and typical of the conformist, rule-role level of value-development. When you grow beyond that, the focus goes to the intentionof Ramadan. Which, I believe, was originally to experience life of the poor, experience what they have to go through every day of their lives. But there must be something beyond that - the more spiritual thing that I am looking for. Something to do with purification, abstinence, being reborn, perhaps. Let's see if the day brings an answer...
12:15 I've been hungry and the feeling is over again :-). Main notable irritating thing is a dry throat through which it becomes harder to speak... And a faint feeling when climbing the stairs in the office (I hate the elevators!). No bad moods yet (which I typically get when I am tired and hungry). Just enough distraction from everyday work in the office to keep me going... No enlightening visions about the purpose of fasting either, yet, but perhaps that's a bit too much asked after half a day?
3 PM already and survived invitations for lunch, but am starting to crave for water and wandering off to the pantry too often to fulfill an automatic urge to get something to drink. In the mean time, had a funny yet interesting conversation with my friend via a messenger:
Me: I'm hungry but am trying to deny it. And thirsty so that my throat sticks and I cannot speak well...
Charles: hahahaha just had lunch here
Me: You!!
Charles: that's the point of fasting facing the temptation
Me: Yeah - people are about to go to lunch now...
Charles: so you're the only one fasting?
Me: On this floor, yes, I believe so. The rest are PMs who are sitting elsewhere.
Charles: joy
Me: yeah... That's why it is written that Ramadan is mainly a community thing. You really need support to do it.
Charles: Jesus wandered for 40 days in the desert without food all alone accompanied only by satan himself
Me: That's why the Bible is mythical... Plus I am not Jesus - unless you are Satan?
Charles: what do you think
Me: Didn't check your horns lately.In any case: yes,
Ramadan is a community thing and that's why I never did it before -
I was not part of a community of people observing Ramadan before, so
was lacking utter support to do it. Indeed, sharing the process of
fasting with multiple people can create a sense of community, in
that you're all in the same "shituation"... Furthermore, it is also
about temptation - at this stage, at least. Keeping your hands off
what is not allowed for you to touch. Keeping your hands off what's
not yours, in general. Observing limits, self-imposed and external
ones.
5 PM and counting... Two more hours until it's dinner time. I
developed a headache in the mean time (possibly more due to lack of
coffee than lack of water), empty stomach is more apparent and the
feeling of thirst still quite the same. Enlightenment is still there
as the faint feeling in my head when I get up from my chair :-P.
Temptation has given way to simple tiredness, though. Clear thinking
is clearly not in scope anymore. But I believe I have a good
autopilot for functioning at the base level...
6:30 Off to the restaurant for the iftar (traditional fast-breaking
meal)! Light at the end of the tunnel!
11:00 PM now and just got home after a long long day, which, however
I would not have wanted to miss. It is such a great experience
feeling water flow through your throat and down into your stomach
after day without it. This does increase the appreciation for the
food we have, for one thing. And it increases my respect for the
millions of muslims worldwide having to do this a month long every
year, in much worse circumstances than where I am (fall in The
Netherlands). It must be very hard to have to observe Ramadan in the
blazing sun during long days.
So, next year again? Definitely! Al-hamdu lillah.
